We were bounced back and forth between experts; we were offered advice and we received blaming, but no one seemed to know how to support us with our unique child. Being “more strict”, and “holding firm boundaries” seemed to just put more fuel on the fire and sticker charts had no impact whatsoever. Without effective professional support, we were basically left to our own devices.
I was desperate to find better ways to support her so I took matters into my own hands.
I spent the next few years with researching, gaining the knowledge and learning the skills no-one around us seemed to have. And I never stopped until I found what I was looking for.
What I have learned on my journey has transformed my daughter, my relationship with her, and our entire family. Better understanding the brain and how the nervous system take part in behavior, why conventional parenting strategies didn’t work, and the crucial role relationships play in behavior change, has shifted my lens and empowered me to become a more confident and effective parent, and a more compassionate and empathetic human.
This transformation inspired me to become the resource for other families we didn’t have when our family was in crisis mode.
I got trained in de-escalation techniques and the Collaborative Problem Solving ® approach, which is a parenting model that was designed specifically to help families of the kids with the most challenging behaviors. I immersed myself in the most current scientific knowledge about brain development and human behavior. I worked at Crisis Intervention Team Trainings and gained valuable experience while helping first responders; police officers, nurses, deputies, and federal agents learn mental health crisis de-escalation for several years. I also volunteered as a Crisis Counselor to support people in crisis at the Crisis Text Line. I’m sure you’re picking up on the theme that explains where “crisismom” came from:-)
The most powerful lesson I’ve learnt from both of my professional and personal journeys is that empathy, treating people with dignity and respect, and collaboration are transformational. The quality of the relationship we build with others predicts the level of our influence on them; whether we’re helping someone who is suicidal, teaching someone a new skill, or parenting.
I know that so many of you fellow parents of children with intense, explosive behaviors have been blaming yourselves because the parenting strategies that seem to work for others, don’t work with your child. It’s not in your head. Please trust me when I say this, it is not you and it is not your child either…. It is the parenting tools that have been failing the both of you.
You deserve the tools and support that will actually make a difference.
I’M SO GLAD YOU’RE HERE!
